Halloween is just around the corner, and for the fifth year, Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse (CALA) is unmasking its list of this year’s scariest lawsuits, all of “witch” are sure to give you the willies.

“Lawsuit abuse can be frightening,” said Diann Rogers, executive director of Central California CALA. “Even when frivolous lawsuits are eventually dismissed, it still costs the court valuable time and wastes taxpayer money.”

Attack of the Killer Bagel—A Florida couple sued McDonald’s, claiming a bagel hurt the husband’s teeth and damaged their marriage. The wife claims she “lost the care, comfort, consortium and society of her husband” as a result of his injuries. (Sarasota Herald-Tribune, February 9, 2003)

Undead Man Suing—A man under arrest in the back of a police car claims he suffered permanent back injuries when the officer slammed on the brakes to avoid an accident. The suspect filed a lawsuit against the City of Greensboro, N.C. and was awarded $1.5 million. (Associated Press, Sept. 28, 2003)

Maggot Muncher—A man, in jail near San Diego, awaiting trial for raping an underage girl, filed a lawsuit seeking $20,000 against the facility because of the mental stress and anguish and weight loss caused by finding a fly in his mashed potatoes. (San Diego Union Tribune, June 3, 2003)

What’s a Ghoul To Do? -- A St. Louis woman sued her local hairstylist for emotional distress following a hair-straightening job that allegedly caused her hair to fall out. A St. Louis County jury awarded the woman $6,000. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch, April 14, 2003)

The Curse of the Tape Dispenser—The post office in Fulton, Mo., removed a tape dispenser that had long been available for customers to seal packages, because a customer had hurt himself using it and had filed a claim against the U.S. Postal Service. (LasVegasCityLife.Com, September 26, 2003)

For the Love of Leatherface—A Hollywood couple claims a popular wrinkle drug has put a major wrinkle in their lives. The wife is suing for headaches and breathing problems; the husband is suing for their resulting lackluster love life. (Daily Star, February 11, 2003)

Vampire Soup—A woman who claims she found a human tooth in a can of Campbell’s soup is suing the company. The lawsuit asks for unspecified damages on behalf of the woman and her son. (Associated Press, September 19, 2003)

“When our legal system is used for greed not justice, we end up paying a ‘lawsuit tax’ in the form of higher prices on anything from toothpaste to healthcare insurance,” Rogers stated.

Rogers added that according to the study, “U.S. Tort Costs: 2002 Update; Trends and Findings on the Costs of the U.S. Tort System,” (published by Tillinghast - Towers Perrin) it’s estimated this “tax” amounts to $721 per year for every man, woman and child in California.

“That’s nearly $3,000 a family of four pays every year for lawsuits,” said Ms. Rogers. It’s time we drive a stake through lawsuit abuse and put it to rest once and for all.

Citizens Against Lawsuit Abuse is a nonprofit, public education watchdog organization. More than 4,500 citizens throughout Sacramento and the Central Valley voluntarily support CCCALA and its public education mission. For more information, visit www.CCCALA.com